The Absent-Minded Serial Killer

by Hobo Beard Bob

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“You don’t have to do this, you know?” the girl pleaded as she struggled against the ropes that bound her to the tree. Bastian would have taped her mouth shut, but he had forgotten the duct tape.

“I do have to do this,” Bastian said calmly. “If my parents hadn’t named me after the main character of The Never Ending Story, then I wouldn’t have to do this.”

“What?” the girl said, confused.

“This is what you get for silently mocking me!” he yelled, and reached into his coat to pull out his pistol.

“Um…crap,” he muttered as he continued to shuffle through his pockets. “I could have sworn I put it in my jacket before I left the house. Dammit! I can’t use anything else; I might get blood on me!”

The girl continued to struggle against her bonds.

“Look, ” Bastian said, “I’ll be right back. Stop struggling. Don’t go anywhere or I’ll kill you.”

He stumbled a few times as he hurried to his Camaro and peeled away. Since he tied her up with a bow knot, the girl escaped before he got back.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. The Absent-Minded Serial Killer

    Stovohobo's Buddy Icon Stovohobo

    Posted 8 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Haha, wow. Funny and faintly creepy. Nice job.
    LoA

  2. The Absent-Minded Serial Killer

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 8 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    It’s a good idea, but I think you squeezed too much into a small space.

  3. The Absent-Minded Serial Killer

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 8 months ago

    nah, the last line was just rushed, with the words bow knot providing the comedic relief and further describing his short-sightedness. Overall, It was like a “DOH!” Homer moment. And just as funny.

  4. The Absent-Minded Serial Killer

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 8 months ago

    dark humor is great when in the right hands, you succeeded. And I agree with Mistress about the last line, overall it’s a good read.

  5. The Absent-Minded Serial Killer

    White Hat's Buddy Icon White Hat

    Posted 8 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    ‘Xellent.

  6. The Absent-Minded Serial Killer

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 8 months ago

    oddest killer ever, brillant as usual.

  7. The Absent-Minded Serial Killer

    ♥Bridget's Buddy Icon ♥Bridget

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    That was absolutly awesome. Slightly disturbing but overall fantastic!! Keep writing down the funnies. Your really good for a laugh. I literally Laughed Out Loud. The people around me probably think Im pysco.

  8. The Absent-Minded Serial Killer

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    What a well done funny premise.

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