Ficlets

On the Run

Leaning against the October sky on the banks of Moon lake, the spherical clocks of two mature dandelions caught a sudden breeze. They drifted from their milky stems as individual seeds, floating on fine hairs to land on distant patches of grass.

Tara plucked the dandelions from their roots and crushed them inside her fist. Things were predictable and safe before the shooting. When she went on the run, she floated one place to the next, never resting and never forgetting the stream of images from the night of the crime.

She looked up at the sun, burning bright and ominous in the sky, and placed a Camel cigarette between her lips. She lit it with cupped hands and then pulled a semi-automatic pistol from her blue purse. With a rush of courage, she loaded the clip, lifted her head up, and placed the muzzle against her temple.

“Do it,” a voice inside her head shouted.

She stood up and fired the gun into the lake, emptying the clip until all she heard was the faint empty clicking sound of the firing mechanism.

Comments

Average Reader Rating:

On the Run
Ana Cristina
Posted 5 days ago

The imagery here is breathtaking. It’s so vividly described and sets the scene so well I feel almost guilty reading it, as though I’ve come upon something I shouldn’t be witnessing. It stays with you long after you finish reading it.
LoA
On the Run
thebetweenspace
Posted 4 days ago

I concur. What a fantastically vivid scene.
On the Run
YodaOnCrack
Posted 4 days ago

I was in a strange mood last night – it came out in this ficlet. Thanks for the feedback, you two. I appreciate it.
On the Run
Maddawg
Posted 4 days ago

The descriptions r lovely & the scene dark and ominous. What happens next?
On the Run
THX 0477
Posted 4 days ago

Very nice touch, linking the fragile, wind-blown existence of the dandelion seed with her fugitive (?) status. Great job!
On the Run
THX 0477
Posted 4 days ago

I liked what you did with the metaphor, so I tried to emulate it in a sequel and maintain the style and theme. A fun little writing exercise, for which I thank you.
On the Run
Kermitgorf
Posted 4 days ago

I’m used to your comic side.. this was was deepest/ darkest thing I think you’ve written, I agree with the vivid imagery.
On the Run
Ana Cristina
Posted about 23 hours ago

I just wanted to let you know I continued the series you started. As THX wrote in a comment in one of the more recent parts, it’s cool to see what happens when many hands touch a story.
LoA
On the Run
YodaOnCrack
Posted about 19 hours ago

Cool, Ana Cristina, I’m off to read your continuation now… Thanks for continuing it!
On the Run
Browncoatben
Posted about 15 hours ago

A masterful usage of words to create imagery. I’m hooked!