On a Walk

by THX 0477

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Though the surface calmed almost as quickly as it had been disturbed, the water rippled quietly along. Tiny wavelets lapped uselessly against the dingy, brown grass at the water’s edge. The world of the pond struggled to come back to equilibrium.

Tara shoved the pistol back into her purse, disgusted with it and herself. A twinge of pain among the reverberations of gunfire in her hand bade her look. A slowly opening palm revealed two tiny slits of red between the decimated remains of the dandelion’s progeny.

“Silly girl,” the voice nagged, “You only ever succeed in hurting yourself when you’re hurting others.”

Face going ever more placid, Tara’s eyes drifted with the breeze towards the factory and humble housing complex across the lake. Her mind simmered with possibilities and exigencies, eroding what little reason and decency had been left. In her private world of chaos, there would be no balance.

Light, still uncertain steps carried Tara around the edge of the lake on the winds of fate.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. On a Walk

    YodaOnCrack's Buddy Icon YodaOnCrack

    Posted 5 days ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow – thanks for the sequel & what a terrific job you’ve done here! This writing shows particularity and attention to detail that builds on what I was after in the original. I love the ending too – how you’ve left it open yet hinting at something tragic yet to come.

  2. On a Walk

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 5 days ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Well executed sequel. You’ve channeled the tone and vividness of the original and left room for more additions.

  3. On a Walk

    Kermitgorf's Buddy Icon Kermitgorf

    Posted 5 days ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Helped create a memorable charatcer here.

  4. On a Walk

    Browncoatben's Buddy Icon Browncoatben

    Posted 1 day ago

    I’m completely sucked into this Tara character. YodaOnCrack and THX really complimenting each other here.

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