{Uselessness's Maneuvers Challenge}: Pulling the Cord

by SKermitgorf

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Breathless. Wind circulating all about him from all sides.
The last thing Paco remembered was putting on the parachute.
He hoped that he remembered what to do to open the chute up.
It wasn’t like he had much time to think. He refused at first to jump out, but he was sure now that Manuel shoved him out.
The clouds were puffy up close, Paco had never seen them up close and personal like this before, so white, like puffs of smoke from his momma’s cigarettes.

He could still see the plane up above him. He felt the heat on his back, the plane he just exited exploded. Burning plane parts flew past him at a speed faster then lighting in the fields of New Mexico.
Paco’s heart was beating out of his chest.
Pull the cord, dummy, he said to himself.
He pulled the cord.
Nothing happened. Oh Gawd, what now?, he panicked.
He saw the ground approaching like a train emerging through a tunnel.
No time to react.

Then he felt the impact.

Then he felt nothing.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. {Uselessness's Maneuvers Challenge}: Pulling the Cord

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Ouch. Did not see that coming. Nice job on using the challenge to create a sort of disconnected, dreamlike feel for the character, unsure of what’s going on and just a little out of it. Then BAM ! Surprise ending.

  2. {Uselessness's Maneuvers Challenge}: Pulling the Cord

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Great entry, very disorienting and then tragic!

  3. {Uselessness's Maneuvers Challenge}: Pulling the Cord

    PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)'s Buddy Icon PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Good slow feel and then a tragic, twisted ending. I like it.
    LoA

  4. {Uselessness's Maneuvers Challenge}: Pulling the Cord

    Blusparrow's Buddy Icon Blusparrow

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    it makes you wince in pain. a very unexpected ending and very sad. You almost foreshadowed it in the beinging with the he hoped he remembered how to put the chute up. Awesome entry.
    LoA

  5. {Uselessness's Maneuvers Challenge}: Pulling the Cord

    Hunting Beauty's Buddy Icon Hunting Beauty

    Posted 3 months ago

    Wow. That is a really good entry. The ending was very surprizing.

  6. {Uselessness's Maneuvers Challenge}: Pulling the Cord

    Apostrophe 's Buddy Icon Apostrophe

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    nicely done!

  7. {Uselessness's Maneuvers Challenge}: Pulling the Cord

    Jenunique's Buddy Icon Jenunique

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wonderful job! I think I actually jumped at the end. :/

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