Please God, Let It End (uselessness's PRECISE MANEUVERS Challenge!)

by John Perkins

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I was half-asleep, fully reclined on the sofa when I heard his voice. Penetrating deep into my subconscious, it broke my slumber. A loud snort emanated from deep inside me as I made the unnaturally quick transition from passed out to full alert.

My legs twitched awkwardly, causing a severe and immediate spasm in my lower calves. I winced theatrically in pain. My feet instinctively performed the anti-cramp maneuver where my toes roll up towards my head, heels thrust outward. The pain began to slowly subside, enough at least, for me to continue my mission.

I launched my right arm towards the remote, pulling my torso along with it. The shiny savior glistened in the light on the cushion next to me. The blue LCD called at me with its myriad of options to remove the blight that is Ryan Seacrest from my living room.

My outstretched fingers were within inches from the device when suddenly, it vanished.

“Oh good, American Idol is on.”

I look up to see my wife, smiling back at me. It was then that I began to cry.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Please God, Let It End (uselessness's PRECISE MANEUVERS Challenge!)

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 3 months ago

    hahaha.. aww comeone they had talent this year…

  2. Please God, Let It End (uselessness's PRECISE MANEUVERS Challenge!)

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Totally perfect entry John, in every way. Great descriptions, great tone, great movement.
    Oh and 5 star on “remove the blight that is Ryan Seacrest” alone. :)

  3. Please God, Let It End (uselessness's PRECISE MANEUVERS Challenge!)

    PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)'s Buddy Icon PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    That should teach you not to fall asleep in front of the TV.
    LoA

  4. Please God, Let It End (uselessness's PRECISE MANEUVERS Challenge!)

    Jenunique's Buddy Icon Jenunique

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    :D Now I know how mine feels. This is great! And every single year I swear to myself and everyone else that I will not watch American Idol….. Well, I’ll just try again next year.

  5. Please God, Let It End (uselessness's PRECISE MANEUVERS Challenge!)

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hilarious and amazingly rich in detail. Very fun entry. Yeah, I should get back to fun.

  6. Please God, Let It End (uselessness's PRECISE MANEUVERS Challenge!)

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Man, I hate cramps like that. Only way I can get rid of ‘em is to get up and start walking around. I loved the line about removing “the blight that is Ryan Seacrest from my living room.”

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