The Race

by Oy

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John ran along the track. His muscles gleamed with sweat in the hot sun. Pound, pound, pound, pound. His feet hit the rubber one after a time.

A drop of sweat dropped down John’s face. Pound, pound, pound, pound. He grunted with exertion, speeding up. The material was pushed down as he stepped on it. Pound, pound, pound, pound. The rubber came back up.

Beside him, John’s opponent tried to keep up with John’s relentless pace. Pound, pound, pu-pound. The opponent fell to the ground panting.

Pound, pound, pound, pound. John could see the finish line ahead. Poundpoundpoundpound. John sped up, running across the finish line in first place.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. The Race

    Jenunique's Buddy Icon Jenunique

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Interesting, in a good way. ;) With the “poundpoundpound” I think we can hear and almost “smell” the track as we go along with John for the race. Good job.

  2. The Race

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I enjoyed your repetition of the poundpoundpound throughout. Really made it easy to feel the race.

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