So Many Variables, So Few Guns

by THX 0477

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Despite his bulk, Agent Lefleur sidestepped gracefully along the porch tracking the movement of the shadowy figure through the windows. His eyes darted between the figure, his suspect in the doorway, the flabbergasted teenage girl, and the irate old man. This was bad.

He drew his gun, his one gun, and counted the variables. Part of him wished he’d brought more guns. And he could have. At one point he’d figured how to comfortably wear seven firearms, thanks to his size.

But that would have been conceeding that his role was one of brute force, and he tried so hard to not be defined by his physicality. He wanted to be more than a big slab of meat and a trigger finger.

As Agent Lefleur rounded the corner, the figure slunk onto the sideporch that doubled as a dock. Cole was inching along behind, the teenager in tow. The old man kept shouting. The stooped figure made for the boat at the end of the dock.

“Freeze, or I will shoot. Last warning!” That did it. It usually did. That or the shot that followed.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. So Many Variables, So Few Guns

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I love the line at the end of the opening pgh, “This was bad.” Talk about an understatement!
    I also like how the sentences vary throughout this piece, some longer and more descriptive, allowing the reader to visualize the scene, others cut and dried, adding to the immediacy of it.

  2. So Many Variables, So Few Guns

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Another awesome entry. A great, subtle hint of humor mixed in with the tense moment describing the seven guns and his reasons for not carrying them.
    Apparently though, you are, in fact, human. This “tried so hard not be defined” needs a “to” before or after “not.”

  3. So Many Variables, So Few Guns

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This thing is playing out brilliantly. I love how you concluded it and his thought process behind only bringing one gun so as not to be defined by his physicality.

  4. So Many Variables, So Few Guns

    g2 (la pianista irlandesa)'s Buddy Icon g2 (la pianista irlandesa)

    Posted 2 months ago

    ay Dios mio, this thing is freakin awesome! I’m sucked into this thing like dust in a vaccuum!

  5. So Many Variables, So Few Guns

    JMSquire's Buddy Icon JMSquire

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    That last line was great, you have a talent at describing things that happen without actually having to outright mention them. It’s as though you write around an action, if that makes sense?

  6. So Many Variables, So Few Guns

    PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)'s Buddy Icon PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    great addition to this series.

  7. So Many Variables, So Few Guns

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 2 months ago

    A real gun toter this guy.. fun read as usual.

  8. So Many Variables, So Few Guns

    grazulis' Buddy Icon grazulis

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    i like the way the variables don’t include the 7 guns, or rather minus 7 guns… nicely done.

  9. So Many Variables, So Few Guns

    Markellus' Buddy Icon Markellus

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    The shot (most always) does it. Seven guns? The good Agent outdoes me by far! My kind of story!!!

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