Ficlets

That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]

With narrow eyes he warns, “I won’t stand for this.”

“Be calm. All will be put right that is amiss.”

“See! See! You did it again, you friggin’ jerk!”

With a sigh, our man replies, “I see there is still much work.”

“I will knock your teeth in and choke you with your own necktie.”

“That will not do. See the reason and the sense, please try.”

“Ha! Ha! And they say I’m the looney. You’re all nuts.”

“And yet, there you are, asked to repeat ‘no ifs, ands or buts’.”

He hangs his head, “Why are you torturing me? What did I do?”

Our man leans down, “The oddity ‘tis not in me, but lies in you.”

Crying now, “I don’t get it. This makes no sense.”

“Shh, you’ll make yourself ill. You’re far too tense.”

“Fine. I give up. You win. Tell me your demands.”

“Demands I have none. See, no malice in these hands.”

“Then why do you keep rhyming, you farging queer!?”

The doctor chides, “No rhyming I make, only rhyming you hear.”

Comments

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That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)
Posted 3 months ago

Brilliant Dr. Seuss parody. You have outdone yourself THX .
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
.:band baby:.
Posted 3 months ago

Love it! And Pyro is right, you have out done yourself.
LoA
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
JMSquire
Posted 3 months ago

Incredibly written, and really original. The twist didn’t really knock me off my feet though, since it seems like you sort of gave it away with the title.
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
Krulltar
Posted 3 months ago

Good job, but came across more like Fezzik from princess bride (“Stop rhyming, I mean it”, “anybody got a peanut”) rather than Dr Suess.
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
Gloria Bold
Posted 3 months ago

the resounding sense of doom with that last line gave me the willies! Awesome.
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
John Perkins
Posted 3 months ago

I agree with everyone else, because I lack the capacity for original thought, unlike you apparently. This is really quite awesome. I love that you really pushed the boundaries of the challenge to make it even more challenging.
I kind of guessed the twist early on, simply because I hate going to the doctor as much as this guy (he seems like a dentist). But an awesome, fun read.
Thank you so much for entering. I’m surprised you gave in so quickly to my pestering.
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
Ana Cristina
Posted 3 months ago

I guessed at the twist, too, before I got to it, but I was having so much fun reading that wacky dialogue I didn’t care. Did you misspell Dr. Seuss’s name on purpose?
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
SKermitgorf
Posted 3 months ago

He’s like a zen master Yoda.. would have fit well in that Challenge as well. seems like hes in an asylum to me.
LoA
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
Markellus
Posted 3 months ago

brilliantly executed
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
Mighty-Joe Young
Posted 3 months ago

awesome i really liked it
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
g2 (la pianista irlandesa)
Posted 3 months ago

shaking head, laughing to self Very nice. I’m very impressed, to say the least; just brilliant.
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
Evelyn
Posted 3 months ago

Wow. Brilliant.
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
XxjerseyxgirlxX
Posted 3 months ago

I didn’t get it!
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
ALRO613 ♪ LoA ♫
Posted 3 months ago

Only you could manage to put Dr. Seuss together with “Fargin Queer” all in one ficlet..
Brilliant! I loved it.
That Bastitch Dr. Seuss [Unexpected Twist Challenge]
invisibility_disability
Posted 3 months ago

this really reminded me of fezzik from the princess bride.
a lot.
but also dr. seuss.
niiiiiice one. :)