Ficlets

Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]

“I can’t see your face,” he said plaintively.

“Shh,” she comforted, “The doctors say your sight might come back once…once the swelling goes down.”

“No, I can’t see, can’t remember your face!”

She remained silent. His mind twisted over and over itself, sifted through memory after memory, so much useless drivel. Her face was not there. He knew it should be there. Why wasn’t it there?

Soothingly she said, “There was…damage. Y-you’re lucky to be alive, Trent.”

Appreciative for her voice, he offered a weak, lop-sided smile. But inside his soul burned. Of all the pointless memories swimming to the surface, days in the sun and nights in shadow, her face would not come.

Drifting back, he sobbed, “I can’t see your face.” Though the details refused to greet his conscious mind he knew her face was beautiful. He knew his world revolved around that lovely smile. His sun rose and set upon her delicate eyelids. His heart beat to the flush of her cheeks.

But he could not, would not ever, see her face.

Comments

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Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
ALRO613 ♪ LoA ♫
Posted 2 months ago

Wow! That was good!
I was so in the moment .. i almost felt his pain!
awesome.
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
ALRO613 ♪ LoA ♫
Posted 2 months ago

I had to comment again..
Man, THAT WOULD SUCK ! not to remember your wife’s face. Man!!
I’m sad for him now! :(
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
thebetweenspace
Posted 2 months ago

That was incredible. I couldn’t imagine a worse fate than that (well, I could but it’s still pretty bad). Very true to life, as well. One of my best friends told me a while back that his heart broke recently when he tried to remember his late mother’s face and for the first time could not.
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Mighty-Joe Young
Posted 2 months ago

we need a new label like mature, only it say Tear jerker
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Krulltar
Posted 2 months ago

Very interesting take on this challenge.
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
g2 (la pianista irlandesa)
Posted 2 months ago

aww!! Talk about a heart-wrencher! Man, you didn’t just play with the heartstrings, you mangled them! Sheesh, I wish I could give you more than 5 stars, ay Dios mio, this was so rockin’ awesome…
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
John Perkins
Posted 2 months ago

Very cool as always. And a terrible fate.
This was a cool line: “His heart beat to the blush of her cheeks.”
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Ana Cristina
Posted 2 months ago

Tragic. I think forgetting someone’s face after going blind is much worse than forgetting the sound of someone’s voice after going deaf. There’s something about the eyes, about looking into the eyes of your loved one, that is just irreplaceable.
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Apostrophe
Posted 2 months ago

This story is amazing.. If heart strings were tangible they would be a violin. And this story is like someone taking that violin and playing a beautiful classical piece of music.. This story is gripping and emotionally packed. You are a master at the art of story telling. You use words in an enchanting way.. this one is going in the clippings. Honestly, this should be featured.
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Laine P. Grey
Posted 2 months ago

That was unbelievably wonderful!
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
invisibility_disability
Posted 2 months ago

one word.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
LovingYourHeartbreak♥
Posted 2 months ago

oh man. it would suck so bad to forget your loved one’s face. imma cry. this was beautiful tho.
AMAZING .
virtual 999999999999999999999996 stars
then add the 5 i can actually give you!
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
[pens&feathers]
Posted 2 months ago

Heart wrenching and tragic. Beautifully rendered. Fabulous job. Thank you for entering!
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Music-Hearted
Posted 2 months ago

Wow. This definitely pulled on my heart strings, haha. I really love the second to last paragraph: I think the tragedy is particularly captured in that moment. Beautiful.
Unseen Beauty [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Saint Chuck
Posted 2 months ago

Beauty in it’s most haunting form. Excellent work describing the moment in a way that brings the reader to feel empathetic with both the victim and his beloved. Great job!