Ficlets

The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]

Her lips looked lovely; this was because they had been sewn shut.

She had no deathly pallor, laying in the open coffin, surrounded by white roses. They painted her lips and gave her skin a lovely glow. She looked about my age.

I know all the coroner’s tricks. I’d grown up running around the Funeral Home, a young boy chasing balls and toys between clumps of the grieving.

I used to think that the constant atmosphere of death had made me immune to it. A funeral was a funeral; people died. Part of life.

A draft blew into the church, winding through the aisles, up to where she slept in peace, surrounded by candles. In one moment, they were all blown out.

It hit me all at once. This was a tragedy. A life lost, another flame snuffed out before it even had a chance to burn. Every funeral I’d attended, every corpse I had glimpsed, came rushing back to me in that split second.

I threw my head into my hands and sobbed, a lost little boy in a church. I didn’t stop until long after the congregation left.

Comments

Average Reader Rating:

The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Mask By The Moon
Posted 3 months ago

Beauty. Pure beauty.
The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Mighty-Joe Young
Posted 3 months ago

(Jaw slacked and dazed look of amazement) I cannot believe how good this story is. I am in awe, with the way that you created this mood. Oh and “Clumps of the greiving” my god people dont clump milk does when it goes sour and that is where you brought me, a happy kid who doesn’t know the milk is sour till he tastes it himself. I am just in amazement of this fic, if it doesnt win this challenge i am going to just say dang doodlie darnit.
The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
John Perkins
Posted 3 months ago

This was very, very good. And I also loved “clumps of the grieving.” Beautiful.
The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Ana Cristina
Posted 3 months ago

What a great character piece. The second-to-last paragraph in particular is very well written.
The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Yujji
Posted 3 months ago

amazing absolutely and utterly amazing. can you look at some of mine? Im just getting started
The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Apostrophe
Posted 3 months ago

Wow.. this story is really stunning! I like the ending.. how it all caught up to him. He wasn’t as immune to death as he thought. I like the element you added with the candles, and the metaphor behind it. Well done!
The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
ALRO613 ♪ LoA ♫
Posted 3 months ago

Very very good! I thought, at the beginning, that this would be another ghost piece – and was pleasantly surprised to find it’s a coming of realization piece!!
Very fresh.. Incredibly described. I loved it!!
The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
Stovohobo
Posted 3 months ago

The first few lines are astounding. And the rest keeps the…well, for lack of better words, hauntingly beautiful mood. I like it. A lot.
The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
NightMaiden
Posted 3 months ago

I have only one thing to say : congratulations! You wrote an amazing piece. It leaves the reader with a lot of openings, especially those with rampant imaginations. I really like how you describe the life in comparison to a candle…it’s true, though. Again, awesome work!
The Funeral Boy [Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge]
[pens&feathers]
Posted 3 months ago

Despite the shortness imposed by ficlets, this piece leaves me feeling satisfied, because it acts as an entire story. Beautiful. Wonderfully done. Thank you for entering!