Childhood (revised)

by Tiggerstripn2

He struggled to make his way to the bookshelf.
The books beaconed him. Do I dare.
He stood broken in front of the bookcase .
A force pulled at him relentlessly.
His hand moved closer to the book.
His brain filled with termoil.
He was struggling to pull his hand away,
but was to weak to fight the force.
The book was in his hands,it opened.
Darkness surrounded him,he could feel pain.
Sanista opened his eye’s.
He was shocked to find he was at his childhood home, and six years old again.
He could hear his mother sobbing uncontrollably.
He stood up ,Mama?
He saw the pool, and his sister face down in the water.
No, this can’t be happening.
A voice from nowhere surrounded him.
Sanista you were summoned here.
Why? By who?
You can not change what you have done,
but you must take responsibility for your actions.
It was an accident, it was.
She fell in!
No,you pushed her.
Sanista fell to his knees sobbing.
It was an accident it had to be.
I was only a child, just a child.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 3.0 stars out of 5

  1. Childhood (revised)

    Storykeeper of Fae's Buddy Icon Storykeeper of Fae

    Posted about 1 year ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    I like your ideas…but the lack of conventions detracts from the story. It hinders the efficacy of the message.

  2. Childhood (revised)

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted about 1 year ago

    Wow, very technical critique. We should probably have more of those on ficlets. Very exciting to see where all the sequels took this one.

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