It made me so angry sometimes that I could hardly breathe. A few rebellious tears would crawl down my cheeks and I’d wipe them away angrily.

How could a man so far away from me cause me so much pain? I had no desire to meet this man who’d left me and Jackie all these years ago. But why couldn’t I get him out of my mind? I’d been raised fatherless, and I knew it would always be that way.

The rain pounded on the window next to my favorite seat in our small Manhattan apartment. Shirts and pants and underwear became soaked as they hung on clotheslines in the narrow space separating apartments.

Jackie wouldn’t be home until late that night, working at the laundromat. I hoped this one would last- my mother was a smart woman, but could not hold a job for the life of her. Silence would fill this room for the next few hours, no matter how much I wanted company.

Without another thought, I pushed open the window and stepped onto the fire escape staircase. As the rain embraced me, I escaped into the city.