“She’s a true beaut,â€? Crazy Whitney told me as we both stared at the battered motorcycle in front of us. “Sure, she may need a fresh coat of paint, but she’ll purr like a kitten once you get her out on the open road. She’s a classic.â€?

I ground my teeth together,trying not to sock him every time he tried to anthropomorphize the inanimate object. Drove me nuts. But everyone knew that Crazy Whitney had the lowest prices on used cars in town, and I really needed him to give me a good deal on this bike.

“Yep, she sure is,â€? I replied with a forced smile, resisting the urge to vomit. I had a feeling that the dumber I played this little venture, the quicker I’d be gone. “You sure she gonna run all right?â€?

“You bet, little darling!â€? he replied proudly. “Crazy Whitney has tested every vehicle in this lot!â€?

Luckily, I knew he was right. I had broken in last night to make sure the damn thing wouldn’t fall apart on me once I hit the road.

“I’ll take it!â€? I replied brightly.

I was getting the hell out of Dodge.