Teeth bared and lips pulled back as far as possible with aging facial muscles, Crazy Whitney inspected every square millimeter of enamel in his mouth. He was a firm believer in appearance. Salesmanship was all about appearance.

The girdle pinching his ribs gave the appearance of youth and vitality. The toned down brown suit gave the appearance of humble accessibility. The manicure helped the lengthy contracts he was handing across the table appear less loathsome.

The inspection complete, appearances up to snuff, Crazy Whitney took a deep breath and recited his daily mantra, “I will sell quality vehicles to quality people. I will not be undersold. I will not mention my ex-wife. I will not hit on the customers, male or female. I will have a good day, and so will my customers!”

A small chime perked Crazy out of his daily affirmation. A customer was on the lot, and so early in the day! His heart beat against the girdle’s restraint. Maybe this really would be a good day, unlike all the days before.