Dear Gossip Girl: I took your advice about staying up all night on ficlets and sleeping through history, and I started making F’s! Not just in history, but in other subjects too!
-MadAtGG

Dear Mad: Teaches you to follow my advice. And is it really my fault you’re failing other subjects?

Dear Gossip Girl: Two guys forcechoked me today, and I slapped them. I got in trouble, and am supposed to go up to the office tomorrow. What do I do?
-Innocent

Dear Innocent: Buy a bat to beat off the principal.

Dear Gossip Girl: Everyone says I shot my girl, but I haven’t a clue. I’m a sleepwalker.
-WhatifIdiddoit

Dear What: Tell them that. Make sure that they know it.