Ooh I like the twist of such common items. There’s a few fragments though, but I suppose if that’s writing style you could get away with it. great job =]

i really love this. i can actually see the scene. gorgeous writing… a few grammatical flaws, but a wonderful piece nonetheless.

The thought “where have you gone” wouldn’t be the first thought in my head after walking in on a murder scene…(I’m implying murder by the hasty note and blown earbud.)
I’d think “AAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Help! 911!”

Wow. Awesome way to set a scene, and to create some suspense. Great job on this challenge.

The writing style seems in some places not grammatically correct, but I am not a grammar teacher, and further, it seems to add something to the style.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone!

The fragment sentences were an intentional experiment with style. I’m still not sure whether it worked or not. But that’s the reason for it.

This was very good. I agree with AeroPen, nice way to take common things and put a twist on them.