I like how this was done. Its intriguing, interesting. i think morose would be a good word for this. Im interested to hear how you got the inspiration for this one.

Wow, disturbing. I liked the line about the weight of the world’s remains. Nice use of the present tense! Not an easy thing to do.

LoA

I really like this, and I love the last line – very suspenseful and chilling.