* Sampled from “Spacelord” by Monster Magnet
—
** Sampled from “King of Mars” by Monster Magnet

And due to space restrictions, I was unable to include my intro, which is sampled from Morgan Freeman’s opening monologue from “War of the Worlds”:
With infinite complacency, men went to and fro about the globe, confident of our empire over this world. Yet across the gulf of space, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic regarded our planet with envious eyes and slowly, and surely, drew their plans against us…

Any opinions or self-aggrandizing, self-indulgent statements are not necessarily the views expressed by the author. I was channeling equal parts DMX and Dave Wyndorf.

I’m speechless – this is brilliant – I think the Morgran Freeman intro sounds like the perfect addition. I’m not sure Casey Kasem would include these in his top 40, but maybe Kevin Lawver or Scalzi can rap these into their laptop mics and upload ‘em to the main page? : )

Hmmm…I’m not good at raps, myself. But this makes me want to write one about myself. I’m not sure much rhymes with “Cartagan” though, other than sweaters.
Great job :D

fyora cartagan,
so ill,
she will,
stop dead hearts AGAIN ,

out sprinting cheetahs verbally,
leaving wounds unmendable in surgery

she’s a sleek cat,
that attacks the format
and kicks out the door mat
sumo slamming ya to the floor flat.

ok I’m having too much fun.

I had to read this a few times before I got my mind around how funny it was. And it is, it really is.

this is hilarious! haahha i could hear eminem rapping this XD

lol good one

you like mars,don’t you?