“Lose weight without dieting—it’s easy and safe,” said Brenda.

“Britney Spears is pregnant again!” shouted Suelyne. “Christina Applegate nude? I don’t doubt it.” She was more wisecracking in that second part.

Brenda put down the phone and did a wild dance to an insane hyperactive runaway drum machine thing she made on GarageBand.

“Hello,” said Suelyne, not quite sure of what was going on.

She looked through her kitchen window and saw an enormous sign that said “Fun Times for Cheap.”