They were midway through booking when they got the call. Detective Wilson had never heard the Chief curse like that. They’d just got paw prints when he burst in.

“Release the fucking bear!” he yelled. “Didja hear me? Release the fucking bear!”

“Chief? The bear just shot America’s most-loved frog on national TV. I don’t think the DA’s office is going to have much trouble with this one.”

The Chief laughed mirthlessly.

“What do you have on the perp’s ethnicity?”

Wilson’s mind was blown. “Bear?”

“Color?”

“Brown?”

“I just got off the phone with the Fish And Wildlife Service. Turns out brown bears are listed as a ‘threatened species’ under the goddamn Endangered Species Act. The Feds say we could already be looking at up to $50,000 in fines and a year in prison. They’re sending someone over to take it into custody and release it in the wild.”

“He shot a guy on live television!” Wilson cried. The Chief shrugged, a gesture that said fucking Feds and a thousand things besides.

“Wokka wokka!” said the bear.