Laying in our sleeping bags that night, in my living room, I promised you that no matter what, you’d be my best friend. That you’d be the brightest star in the sky.

I didn’t know you were planning to die.

I told you that even if we were separated, if our worlds were forced apart, I would always be able to look up at the sky, see your star, and remember. And that you could always do the same.

I didn’t know you had the pills in your pocket.

Pointing at a star, I told you that that one was you, and I believed it. And you put your arms around me, and whispered, “thank you.”

I didn’t know you’d take it so literally.

Now I’m lying on my back in the damp grass, looking up at the night sky. Alone. And it hurts, seeing, remembering. I miss you. How could you do that to me? I loved you.

I promised that that star was you, and I meant it. No matter what. I see you up there, looking down on me. I hate you for leaving me. But I love you all the same.

My best friend.

My stargirl.

I will never forget you.