And it’s not like I planned. It’s nothing like I planned- or hoped. You’re so far away even though you’re right here. Right now you’ve got your arm around her, and someone else is standing across from me at the altar. I’m wishing he was you as he lifts up my veil and kisses me. I’ll smile and let him think that these are tears of joy, when really they are tears of regret. I glance at you one last time before he rushes us out to our friends eager to congratulate us.

“Congratulationsâ€? you say to me.
“Thank you,â€? I answer, without meeting your eyes.

Has it really been five years since we last spoke? I shouldn’t feel so lonely, but I do. I see you dancing with her out of the corner of my eye. My heart shouldn’t hurt so much on my wedding day. He holds me close and kisses my cheek. The dress looks beautiful. I got red and white roses just like I wanted. All my friends managed to come. There was a gorgeous vanilla cake. But, it’s not like I planned. It was supposed to be you. It should have been you.