Going outside to get the mail. Spring is creeping up on us, I can smell it. Inhale deeply, take in the scent that the earth gives off. Close my eyes, I can hear the whispers of children laughing, the sun kissing my closed lids. Open my eyes. I see bare branches, dirty melting snow; my neighbor is walking her dog. Inhale… the taste of rasberries, picked fresh from the bushes in our backyard, our old clubhouse with the musty scent of wood ligering in the air. Inhale, exhale… my childhood fascination with ladybugs, daddy-long legs, and slugs. The delicate tickling that a critter lends to you when one walks on you. I remember those bugs as my friends, but I am now repelled by them. Inhale, exhale… the cool water rushing past me, but becoming one with me as i jump into our pool. The boats that are docked ring with their sails, lulling me to sleep at night. Inhale, exhale… the touch of my cat feels different, less fascinating. Inhale, exhale, open my eyes… I will never be able to go back. never.