You sit at your keyboard eating your Pocky. You liked the 1024-character pseudonymous fiction. To write your own is something you will want to do.

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT !!!! STYLE ! I know this because I am AWESOME .

Above you learn that caps lock makes you authoritative. You believe me because I shout and hurt your eyes.

You learn above that awkward sentences prove how much smarter you are. Than everyone else. Only n00bs write clearly.

As my esteemed colleagues Hobo Beard Bob and Kermitgorf explained, internet slang is very important for connecting with a young audience. Use it abundantly like cocoa butter on the back of a beautiful woman.

Otherworldly similes, metaphors, and sweeping generalizations help to educate your audience. Because they’re ignorant peons and you feel sorry for them.

You already use second person, present tense, and tense changes abundantly. Keep up the good work.

Ending abruptly (parentheticals too!) is always a sign that you planned well.

Unidentifiable pronouns make it cool.