“Egads, man!” Professor Tonington yelped, having felt the sting of nearly half an ampere. He ripped the rubber-copper electrodes from his bare chest, tossed them aside, and continued. “I find this treatment to be most unenjoyable, Doctor! Sometimes I wonder why you subject me to this torture: the remedy is certainly worse than the disease.” The professor began fastening the buttons on his pale yellow shirt.

“Worse than complete heart failure?” the doctor replied.

Tonington ended with the cufflinks, then put on the waistcoat and tucked his brass pocketwatch away. “I certainly think so. There must be something else…”

“There have been some reports of success with certain savage ‘methods” from the Orient. But only a madman would wilfully subject himself to such a foolish thing!”

“Is it not often said that madness and desperation are quite alike?” He stroked his regal burnsides.

“Surely you do not suggest—!”

“Would you prefer we take the aeroballoon or the gyrocopter?”