I look at your picture before I go to sleep and I touch your face. I wonder if you can see how I cry every night. I know you didn’t believe in God, I didn’t either. It just makes this harder. Not believing in Heaven and Hell is easy until you lose someone, then all you can do is wonder.

I wonder all the time. I sit here on my bed, where you left me, begging you to stay. I was afraid to tell you, afraid that you’d react horribly. I’d never even thought…

My hands tremble in front of me, hiding your face from my memory. I can’t bear to look at you anymore. It’s been almost a year now, and I still can’t look at your face for more than a few minutes. Just like I can’t stand to look at her.

She looks just like you, your daughter. It pains me to hear her cry, to look at her. It shouldn’t. You left in anger that night, and it was your fault you died. All of this is your fault. I still love you, but for her, I can never forgive you.

I may miss you, but I’m glad you’re gone. She’s better off without you.