I met this dude
Form this totally ancient land,
And he was all like: “Bro, there’s this busted gigantic statue
of some like medieval type dude in the desert. It’s totally righteous.”
And I was like “No way!”
And he was all like “Way.”
And then I was like, “I would very much like to behold such an astonishing feat of ancient engineering. Lead on, my good man!”
And he was like, “With all due haste, dear sir! Prepare thyself for a spectacle unseen by the eyes of man for uncounted Æons!”

And all it was was this pair of broken legs
Sticking out of the sand,
And I was pretty bummed until I read what was written there:

My name is Crown Me Tarzan,
King of Mars,
Look upon my most excellent works,
Ye mighty douchebags,
And totally despair!

And I was like: “That’s pretty awesome.”

THE END