” You! In the leather jacket! You’re going straight to Hell boy!” the street preacher shouted at me as I passed. I rolled my eyes and looked at my girlfriend.

“Charlotte, sometimes I think that I may just be on my way to Hell.” I said, loud enough for the preacher to hear. She giggled, her torn up RELAX t-shirt just tight enough to let me watch her breasts jiggle a little. I pulled her to me, in full view of the fire and brimstone man and snogged her good and proper.

“I see you standing there boy! Sinning in the street! Oh Lord help these wayward sinners find you. LOOK AT HER ! SHE ’S LOST CONTROL !” The preacher dropped to his knees and began chanting some kind of prayer the moment he saw Charlotte slip her hands down the back of my trousers. God I love this girl.

She whispered to me. “Let’s go to bed baby. Time to quit teasing the preacherman. ‘Sides, won’t be long before he’s knockin’ on Lisa’s door looking to get some, the hypocrite.”

“Mmmm baby. You never let me down.”