My head is pounding. I’m listening to Paramore. I feel like crying. Who knows why, I don’t anymore.

Confusion. I’m in a state of confusion. I’ve been in and out of this state several times in the past couple of weeks. Confusion and… something else. That feeling that something isn’t quite right. But you don’t know what. I’m not explaining this very well.

Why am I writng with the music on? I can never do that, I always have to turn it off. But for some reason I dont. I just… don’t. I can barely hear my thoughts.

Numb. Maybe I’m numb. Numb is an interesting word. Say it over and over, it starts to not be a word anymore, but just sounds. Or like something you repeat. You know, like when those people who meditate start saying ooomm. How do you spell that anyways? ooommm. uuummm. oouumm.

Well this has helped me a little. Maybe I can survive for the rest of the night.

Sad thing is I’m not sure if I’m being sarcastic or not.