“Ladies and gentlemen,” he announced, in a strong, steady baritone voice. “I am going to inform you, right now, that this is a bank robbery.”

With that, four other bank “patrons” pulled semi-automatic weapons from their coats.

“Now, then,” he continued, “I would like you all to lie down on the floor, or…” He pointed his handgun at a nearby teller. ”...I will be forced to turn this rather stunning young woman’s head into a very large mess.”

The crowd dropped to the floor. “Excellent.” He turned to the teller. “Now, then, I assume you’ve already pressed the silent alarm, is that right?”

Her eyes grew wide with fear. She shook her head, afraid to speak. “Now, my dear, please. Lies do not become you.”

She nodded. “Please, don’t kill me.”

“Oh, no. Of course not. You’re doing your job…”

“Hey!” one the others yelled. “You here to flirt or get our fucking money?!”

He fired, putting a bullet through the man’s forehead. “We’ll get our money. But we’ll be civil about it. Now, miss. The money, if you please.”