She smiled at me. “Do you mind? I really need a shower.”

“Oh…er, no,” I said, hastily excusing myself from the bathroom. As the sounds of running water started, I ran over the events of the last day or so in my head, trying to figure out at exactly what point things had taken a turn into the twilight zone. I went out to eat. My first waitress kissed me and disappeared. The restaurant charged me for her. Then she…flew out of my butt like the proverbial monkey. It was just too weird to think about.

Cindy Lou came out of the bathroom, hair in a towel and a larger one wrapped around her body. “I guess you want to know where I came from.”

“I know where you came from,” I said weakly. “I want to know how you got there.”

“Oh, that’s simple. I’m your new GaIA.”

“GaIA?”

“Gastro-Intestinal Assistant. You know how you have acidophilic bacteria in your stomach and gut?”

“I heard something about that. Something about eating active culture yogurt?”

She beamed. “Just think of me as really active culture.”