Kirk, Spock, and McCoy swaggered, strode, and stomped (respectively) into the transporter room.

“Mr. Scott,” Kirk crooned. “I. Need. To get. Over. To. The. Alien ship. Can you. Beam. Me. Over there?”

“Aye, cap’n,” Scotty said. “But why in th’ w’rld are ye wantin’ t’ go there?”

“Dammit, Jim!” Bones piped up. “I’m a doctor, not a welding supervisor!”

Kirk looked at McCoy. “What?”

McCoy sheepishly said, “Well… You know… Just sayin’.”

Kirk grabbed a metal pipe and a bottle of champagne. Swaggering onto the pad, he turned with a flourish and said, “Mr. Scott. Energize.”

The captain dematerialized (with a flourish). Scotty turned to Spock. “Mr. Spock. What in th’ w’rld does th’ cap’n have planned?”

“Our captain sees only two ways out of our situation, Mr. Scott.”

“F or F,” McCoy chimed in.

“Fight or flight?” Scotty asked, puzzled.

“A logical assumption, Mr. Scott. But remember, this is Captain James T. Kirk.” He raised an eyebrow at Scotty.

“Ah,” Scotty said, now understanding. “Fight or fornicate!”