Interviewer: Oh my God… I mean.. well.. Pardon me please.. Oh jeez… I mean.. wow… God… Are you sure you want to be interviewed??

Jesus: Yes.

interviewer: Wow.. well.. okay… um… Am I okay as the interviewer? Are you sure I am the right one?

poof

Connie Chung: Okay. So Jesus. This is your second coming. Tons of Christians have long awaited this moment. Can you tell us why the second coming now?

Jesus: Well.. I had a huge phobia of Earthlings I had to get over first.

Connie Chung: Sorry?

Jesus: One word… crucifixion.. That is a pretty hard thing to get over. Here I am, talking love, harmony, joy, get to heaven… and you guys strap me to a wooden cross and kill me.

Connie Chung: Well.. um… you do realize we are sorry about that right?

Jesus: Yeah. I understand that. It was still a hell of a way to be treated. Here I am, ‘Son of God’ and all.. convinced at every moment that you will see the error of your ways.. then bam.. I am dead. Bummer.