“Do you have too much stuff? Are you cold? Are you tired of chopping wood and then having nothing to do with it afterwards?”

“Hi, I’m Prometheus, and I’m here to tell you about an exciting new product bought to you by my company, Prometheus Industries.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the invention that’s going to set the world alight, it’s Fire!^TM. That’s right, Fire!^TM. You don’t have to take my word for it, what about one of our customers, Dave from Middlesex.”

“We used to get all sorts of bills, and then one day I realised that we could consolidate them into one easy Fire!^TM. Now we aren’t troubled by debt collectors, as we can just put them on the Fire!^TM. Fire!^TM has changed my life, almost completely for the better”

Still not convinced? Well how about this, for the next week only, buy one Fire!^TM, get your second absolutely free.

Disclaimer: Prometheus Industries takes no responsibility for Fire!^TM related injuries or deaths. Or loss of belongings and houses .