Cape Town 2008. Mrs Calvert and I are watching television.

As usual, all 97 channels have commercials on at the exact same time, and we happen to be watching a particularly atrocious one for a skin cream.

“That has got to be one of the worst adverts ever” Mrs Calvert says. I nod and agree sagely: “It is definitely in my top three or four.”

This sets me to thinking, and so a challenge is born:

Conceive of the worst possible advert for any product The idea is to think up a new advert, not retell an existing one. Although it is fine to use an existing advert for inspiration. This is, after all, about making fun of the commercial and especially of the infomercial.

We should probably not use brand names, so that we avoid being the target of any litigiously minded people.

Your advert can be a TV advert, a radio advert, a description of a billboard, print advert, whatever

Be creative and have fun.

I will join the list myself as I have a few pet hates that I would like to work out of my system.