Ficlets

Murders, Inc.

“Hello, you’re through to Murders Incorporated, how may I direct your call?”

“Yes, hi, I’d like to have my wife murdered, I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I really don’t like her.”

“Ok, I’ll just put you through to one of our sales team.”

“Hi, you’re through to sales, how may I help?”

“Yes I’d like to have my wife killed, she’s rubbish and I’m sick of it.”

“Ok, would you like the Basic, Essential or Preferred package?”

“I don’t know, what’s the difference?”

“Basic, is a trainee with a machine gun, a bad temper and an even worse aim. Essential is a mugging gone wrong and Preferred is a skilled murder with a ticket to Mamma Mia! so you’re out the house with an alibi when it happens.”

“I don’t suppose I could get a ticket to Spamalot instead?”

“No sir, I’m afraid it’s Mamma Mia! or nothing.”

“Hmm, ok, well how much is Preferred?”

”$15 000”

“Crikey, and Essential?”

”$10 000”

Oh, right, and Basic?

”$5 000”

“Bloody hell, oh forget it, I’ve just heard her come home, I’ll go do it myself.”

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