Ficlets

Bored to Death, or: Britain's New Plan for World Domination

In just a few minutes, Britain would initiate its plan for world domination, just as it had when it was the most powerful empire in the world. Except this time, it would start with America.

In New York City, across every block and in Times Square, the huge television screens flickered on and a dry, forgettable face filled the pixels. His pale lips parted, and he began to speak.

He talked about quantum theory, he recited the poetry of dead names forgotten long ago, in a dusty and formal tone; he spoke of the Crusades, and the trade patterns that followed them, and he talked about the economics of South Africa. He elaborated on how many planets there really were and why, and he started to count the number of stars in the Andromeda galaxy.

And the screens snapped to a black. But no one was watching anymore. Because in just those three hours of stiff, monotone speech, seventy-five percent of New York’s population had been bored to death.

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