A story of change for the worse! A reflection of remorse. Nice job!
LoA

Whoa, that’s intense but very well written. Love it.
LoA

amazing what one will do for the affections of another. Powerfully writen story. Full of Emotion.

Great feeling in this, one big rush of emotion. Good use of the layout, too – sticking everything in one big block speeds the story up and makes it almost overwhelming.

wow, that’s a really good story. I like how it’s all one paragraph, it really works for this story.

Very good job conveying the emotion, both the desire to fit the mold and the disgust at having achieved it. The last line felt a little awkward but not sure how to rearrange it.
LoA

powerful emotion.