His codename was “Useful.” It was his private little joke. The back-story was that he’d been inept as a kid, all quivering insecurity. He trembled in front of girls, longing to speak but held back by the shackles of shyness. He was timid even with family, unable to stand up to his brothers’ taunts.

“Why won’t you say something?” His mother would plead but he would just hang his head, prompting her to call him “useless.”

Flash forward ten years. In college he fared no better. He did have a few girlfriends, but his life-long habit of passive submission stuck with him, leaving him mute in arguments.

“Why won’t you say something!” his current lover would invariably yell, to which he’d respond with hung head, prompting her to call him “useless.”

After graduation he searched the want ads for a job. One in particular caught his eye: “Wanted: Double Agent.” He called as a lark, sure it was a joke. It wasn’t.

When they asked him to come up with a code name, he didn’t hesitate. “Useless” had become useful at last.