So here’s the thing about Jasmine: she’s impossibly beautiful. I’m not just talking “pretty”, or “cute” here. It’s like her mother did some kind of soul-swapping deal with the devil, because both Jas and her sister Lily are like goddesses walking around at school, sticking out like sore thumbs amongst all the braces and acne and bad haircuts and general teen-unfortunate-looking-ness.

They both have this white-blond perfect hair that looks like it’s never known a split-end. Jas wears her long with one of those side-sweeping fringes that cool indie band girls have. They both have really blue eyes too, and smooth-as-marble white skin. And don’t forget they’re both stick insects who would look fashionable wrapped in a shower curtain… Agh! The perfection is almost too much to bear.

The other thing about Jasmine: she’s also a massive bitch. She can crush confidence with one bone-destroying glare. She’s dated every cute boy at school and left a devastating path of corpses (figuratively speaking) in her wake.