This is just to say, I wonder what you would have looked like. You would have been fifteen today, did you know that? No girl can ever forget her little sister’s birthday. I know we didn’t always get along, but still, I loved you. I really did.

I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you grow up. I’m sorry that you never got to wear the stupid little cap and gown and graduate kindergarten with the rest of the kids. I’m sorry that you didn’t get to learn addition with the first-grade class; I’m sorry that Mom never got to put your artwork on the refrigerator.

You had those little blond curls. Would you still have them today, if you were here, or would your hair have darkened and straightened throughout all those winters? Would you have been a good speller? Would you have done the dishes when it was your night?

I’m sorry you didn’t get to start junior high, or high school, but most of all I’m sorry that it all went on without you.

Cassie…I know you might not believe me, but I’m sorry. Sorry I killed you.