“Creepy a-hole,” I muttered under my breath.

The door opened. “You rang?” the R.A. said with an inordinately straight face. “You think I don’t know you call me Lurch when I’m not around? I hear everything. How do you think your friend Mendez found out about your little scheme?”

He puffed out his chest. And pointed at it.

“Me. Who do you think told Jodi that you’d come in well past curfew with a black eye? Also me. So the next time you think you’re so clever remember I’m the one who knows all. Because I hear everything.“

“Okay, Pizza Face,” I said. Lurch cringed, his inner pain reflected, somewhat stoically on his face. “If you’re so knowledgeable tell me who left that gift on my bed?”

“Why that was me, of course.”

“What?! Why on earth would you do that?”

“To be honest, Brewster. I did it because you don’t have any self-respect. Grow some cajones. All you ever do is talk about some stupid, giggling bitch who isn’t worth her weight in pizza.”

Again, he slammed the door in my face.