“Actually, it’s sort of not,” I said.

Lurch hovered over me awkwardly, a look of concern etched across his pockmarked face.

“If it was me,” Lurch said. “I’d go after the girl. Give it one last shot. But, then, you’re not me.”

With that, he was gone. I wanted to bury my face into about a half-gallon of Ben & Jerry’s. But inside something catapulted me toward the duck pond. I sprinted down the hall.

Lurch peeked out of his room to yell, “No running in the halls!!!”

“No time to talk,” I said, hoping to get to the duck pond in time for what promised to be an epic showdown between my two friends.

When I got there I saw Jodi, staring smugly at the two neanderthals as they squared off.

Not bothering with pleasantries, I asked her, “What did I miss?” as if I had just gone to the bathroom and wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed an essential moment of a movie.

“Everybody’s in love with me, which is great.” She smiled. “But Mendez just called Tom a nancy-boy. And I think he really meant it this time.”