I heard footsteps moving rapidly out of our dorm and into the hall, the echo of them being swallowed by Tom’s loud cry: “JODIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

I put the pillow over my head and groaned, trying to think of life before Jodi. It was so much more peaceful then. Tom and I actually got along. Jerks like Mendez stayed in their place, not messing with us ‘cause we minded our own business. And there was no girl to mess it up, no need to bring out the old “Bros before hoes” clause. It was understood, like an honor code. You knew it, you didn’t break it, end of story.

But then Jodi entered the picture and everything was turned upside down. All of a sudden it was “Hoes before bros.” I groaned again and sank deeper into the mattress. Stupid Jodi. Stupid, worthless, gorgeous Jodi. As far as I was concerned, she and Mendez deserved each other.

“So, Brewster, have you learned to love yourself yet?”

“Go away, Lurch,” I said without moving.

“You know, if it’s any consolation, I was rooting for you.”