My mommy says that clowns are nice. She says that they make people smile. But I don’t like them. One gave me a lollipop once, but I didn’t eat it, cause it had clown germs on it. I learned about germs in my kindergarten class. My teacher is nice. She let us make hand prints on the wall with paint. Mommy wouldn’t let me do that at home, though.

Once, my daddy wanted me to be a clown for Halloween. He said, honey, you’ll be so cute! But I’d be scary. Ghost-scary is okay for Halloween. But not clowns. The big polka dots look like pits of doom. I learned about pits of doom from my babysitter. She’s in big girl school, and she watches people without enough clothes on the TV. But I told mommy about that, and she said oh dear. And I got a new babysitter.

Clowns are too big. Maybe they should be shorter. My teacher said the difference between people and animals is that people have two legs, but she must be wrong cause clowns aren’t people. People’s noses are triangle. And clowns noses are red.

I don’t like clowns.