You decide to try to overpower the 356 lb. woman and run for it.

“Let go of my collar, Beyonzilla!” you scream using all your might to try to break free.

“Uh-uh, honey. Shouldn’a opened that can. You punt mah dog, Ahmma punt yo’ scrawny ass. That’s what Ahm gonna do.”

The robust urban housekeeper picks you up by the scruff of your neck, raises you above her head and somehow manages to punt you. Dazed, you feel tremors, your heart seizes and you shake violently on the floor.

The police bust down the door, which is strange, because it wasn’t locked, and they were invited in.

“Well, well, well. What have we got in here?” the first police officer asks, stupidly, as you are in the midst of a violent agonizing death.

Shaking uncontrollably you can’t answer.

“He’s ‘da one you lookin’ fo, officah’s,” she says proudly.

“What do you want a cookie!?” The second officer shouts, ignoring your plight.

As you die due to their criminal negligence, the police cuff the woman and take her away for murder.

The End