And that’s where Georgia enters the picture.

The first thing you have to understand about my sister Georgia is that she’s a lunatic. I mean, she doesn’t eat her own feces or converse with mailboxes or anything, but when it comes to everyday living, she definitely does for crazy what Jimi Hendrix did for the guitar. And I want to be clear on this: I don’t think the media has taken this into consideration in their coverage of the incident. The girl can’t tie her shoelaces without finding trouble. So, y’know. Maybe lay off a little.

My understanding is that she only went into Ralph’s to buy tampons, so fate played a role here too. I mean, what would you do? Your Aunt Flo is taking up residence, you need to get the situation under control, and as you’re walking into the store you see what seems to be this naked, weirdly-mustachioed homeless dude shrieking in German.

Wouldn’t you at least have some instinct to help this poor guy? Even take him home and feed him?

Well, your name is not Georgia Morrow.