Still one thing we had guaranteed with Alan March was, nothing weird ever fazed him.

This turned out to be somewhat of an advantage when the court case opened. He instantly recognized the hairy mug-like features of the Judge.

“That’s the guy that bit the zombie dude,” he whispered to us. “Once I let on I know that, this case will fall into our laps like apple pie.”

He looked like the cat who’d got the cream until the prosecuting attorney appeared and we discovered the disadvantages of knowing the weird.

“We’re in trouble,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“The prosecutor is the vampire who bit the werewolf judge who bit the zombie,” he told us, as if that explained everything.

He began peering around the courtroom looking worried.

“If we see an existential toaster and a liposuction spider we’re doomed,” he added.