That third paragraph was very well done. If it didn’t have “remembered to breath,” it would not have worked properly, but with that phrase we really get a sense of the frenetic pace. Well done.
I think you could have done without the “o’clock” part in the second paragraph. “Clock” and “o’clock” are pretty close together and “ten in the morning” would get the point across just as well.
Looking forward to see what’s next.

Hmm.. good points.. off to edit…;)

I like the pace of he ficlet, it gets your heart racing.