Very well written. I like the fact you didn’t feel the need to have the son respond to his mother’s comments.

Interesting little moment here. Schools completely funded by corporations? Was this inspired by Jennifer Government per chance?
There’s not really a heck of a lot here. It’s well written, but incredibly sparse. I would have liked to see the bit about the school being completely funded by a corporation as the big reveal, rather than what seems to be a throw-away line in the middle of the moment. I think, it would have given the whole thing more weight.

Never heard of Jennifer Government. By itself this really isn’t much, you are right. I see it as being more of a foundation for something more, maybe I’ll sequel it.

I did have a little fight with myself over how to reveal the nature of the school, and making it a casual mention instead of a surprise twist won out, but just barely.

Thanks for the feedback.

Ah, I see. One of the main reasons I pointed it out was in your profile you mention that you prefer the idea of single moments. If this is a much larger series, I think it works better as a throw-away line. In a larger sense, this is the world these characters live in, so it’s not a big deal. If it’s just this one, I think it would have been better as a big reveal. Does that make sense?
And I’m going to echo what I said in the note I replied to you, definitely check out Jennifer Government.

Also, I changed my rating due to your revelation that this is intended to be a larger series. I really think in that sense it works better.